Also allergic to fun. Apparently.

Uh, no. I’m Matthew. I’m here about the roommate ad?

(nods slowly) I like him. He’s honest. But can he eat raw bacon at 3 a.m.?

(opens door) Ooh! Are you the pizza guy? Because I ordered a pizza with extra smiles, and you look very happy!

(stomps over) Let me see the fine print. (Reads from her phone) “Tough, fry-loving bad girl and perky redhead seek third roommate. Must tolerate violence, singing, and spontaneous pillow fights.” You in?

Sam and Cat are in their apartment. Dice is on the couch. A new character, MATTHEW (16, polite but awkward, carrying a large binder), knocks on the door.

(smirks) Welcome to the bunker, Matthew. You’re in charge of garbage duty and not crying when I throw a fork at your head for fun.

Yay! A new friend! We’ll call you Matt-Matt-Science-Pants!