But this time, I know something I didn’t know then. I know that the pain ends. I know that the baby comes. I know that the moment they place that wet, furious, perfect creature on your chest, the world snaps back into focus.
Let’s not romanticize it too much. I am scared.
But this time? Just before the birth again, there is no sprint. Just before the birth again- Japan- Pregnant- U...
Mata ne. (See you soon.)
Just Before the Birth Again: A Pause in Japan, Heavy with Waiting But this time, I know something I didn’t know then
I am sitting on the floor of our apartment. The zabuton cushion is flat beneath me. The kettle is humming a low, wet note. Outside, a neighbor’s wind chime ( furin ) clinks in the humid August air. And inside me, a second life is doing the strange, quiet calculus of deciding when to enter the world.
The first time, everything was a checklist. Pack the bag. Install the car seat (which, in Tokyo, means wrestling a bassinet onto a bicycle). Learn the Japanese words for epidural ( takumaigai zentai ma sui —a mouthful of consonants when you are in transition). The first birth was a sprint toward the unknown, fueled by anxiety and the naïve bravery of a beginner. I know that the moment they place that
A quiet corner of Tokyo, Japan Condition: 39 weeks, 4 days. Very pregnant. Very still.