Suddenly, a menu option highlights itself: . No one touched the remote. The cursor moves on its own, hovering over SCENES , then LANGUAGE , then finally landing on DELETED SCENES . A subtitle appears at the bottom of the screen: “You’ve been watching this menu for four minutes. We’re charging your credit card.” LOOP FOUR: THE SOUND
“It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The Complete DVD Collection – Now with 40% more bird law, 100% less production value, and a special feature where Danny DeVito just stares at you for six minutes without blinking.” it 39-s always sunny in philadelphia dvd menu
Clicking it doesn’t open a submenu. Instead, the screen cuts to a ten-second clip of Dee falling off a barstool in slow motion, her arms flapping. Then it returns to the main menu, except now every character’s face has been replaced with a poorly photoshopped ostrich head. Suddenly, a menu option highlights itself:
After five full cycles, the screen goes black. For a terrifying moment, you think the DVD is broken. Then, faintly, you hear Frank’s voice, close to the mic, like he’s eating it: “Just press play, you jabroni. I’m not paying for the electricity on this menu loop. Do you know what the market rate for copper wiring is? ‘Cause I do.” A loud (him biting a hard-boiled egg, shell on). A subtitle appears at the bottom of the
The menu music isn’t the show’s theme song. It’s a tinny, MIDI-quality version of “Temptation Sensation” (the original Sunny theme) played on what sounds like a Casio keyboard that’s been left in the rain. Underneath it, you can just barely hear Charlie’s voice, muffled, as if he’s inside a wall: “I’m gonna get the rats to unionize. They want dental, Dennis. DENTAL.” A beat. “Does a trash cake count as a balanced breakfast? Asking for a friend.”